It's The DerOscars 2012.

The incorruptible and unpolitical awards show for the people! Everyone will agree with these for they are my oh-pinions. And it's hosted by me. And produced by Brett Ratner.

Monologue: Tree Of Life? More like take my life...please!

Okay, on with the show.

Best Trailer for a 2011 motion picture:

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL



Pink and Eminem in Mission Impossible trailer. It's 2000 all over again.

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO



And The Winner Is...

DRAGON TATTOO gets the edge for being amazing the entire time and looking way better than the actual movie.


Best Opening Credit Sequence:

DRIVE



THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO



They both win the Pulp Fiction award for trying to set the tone of each movie with their openings, but The Winner Is...

DRIVE - It's far too consistent with the movie while this is where DRAGON TATTOO peaks.

Best Ending Credits:

And The Winner Is...

FRIGHT NIGHT



It's Landis-ian in it's origin and the song choice isn't on the nose. A lot of fun. Evocative of the whole movie.


Best Action Sequence:

DRIVE - Tick Of The Clock



THE GREEN HORNET - Kato Vision



MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL - Burj Kahlifa Climb



And The Winner Is...

M:I-4. This sequence must be seen in IMAX. Which is now impossible to do now. Sorry stragglers.


Best Music:

SUPER 8 - Michael Giacchino



HANNA - The Chemical Brothers



PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES - Hans Zimmer



And The Winner Is...

The Chemical Brothers. That was just one track out of a score that is so fun and brilliant.

Best Song (or for Derick's purposes, best use of a song, original or non-original):

THE MUPPETS - Pictures In My Head



DRIVE - Nightcall



SHAME - New York, New York



Carey Mulligan's incredibly sad version of New York, New York manages to get the award of Best Version Of A Song Sung By A Gremlin award but Kermit waxing nostalgic on his past is very genuine and heartfelt. The Winner Is...Kermit.`

And The Final Award...

Best Dance Sequence:

FOOTLOOSE - Fake ID Country Line Dance



SOMETHING BORROWED - Push It Dance



RIO - Real In Rio sequence



While Rio has some very strong early Disney vibes, and the SOMETHING BORROWED Push It Dance has a hilarious ending, The Winner Is...

FOOTLOOSE - Fake ID Country Line Dance. It's pure sex.

Thank you for coming to these super short awards specifically designed to tell you how much I like Drive. Thank you.

- D