Summer 2011: May Recap!

All right youse mugs, we are one month into Summer Movie Season 2011. Let’s take a look at the month that was May and recap one or two movies you saw and a bunch you didn’t.

THOR



The God of Thunder proved to be mighty with an excellent debut and great kick off to the season. I have since seen the movie three times, and it was enjoyable each and every time. It’s unlike any comic book movie I’ve ever seen, but in simplistic ways. It takes some chances, but is anchored by a star making performance by Chris Hemsworth. He has the chops and the charm to blaze a path for a new generation of action heroes. I mean, I’m still laughing at his delivery of “I need a horse”. For the last ten years or so, wrestler after wrestler has been thrown in front of us to take the place of your Stallones, your Schwarzeneggers and your Willises. Hollywood, you should have just looked to Australia. There were gorgeous special effects and a controversial love story that people decided to pick apart like no other. I still don’t understand it, but that’s been the only thing people chose to whine about. I’m super excited for the upcoming Marvel movies and the return of Thor in THE AVENGERS.

SOMETHING BORROWED



This movie exhibits things we already knew. Ginnifer Goodwin is adorable. Kate Hudson is an annoying slink. John Krasinski’s schtick does not translate well to movies. There is a generic romantic comedy formula working here, but the last ten minutes are so shocking (for this kind of movie) that it’s almost worth sitting through watching white people get drunk on wine in the Hamptons for two hours.

BRIDESMAIDS



Kristen Wiig finally gets her due by writing and starring in her own movie and it being a raging success. This one is a lot of fun, and is very funny, and even beyond “someone’s first screenplay” standards, is pretty solid writing. It’s Apatow’s most successful production in four years, and hopefully has secured his comedy kingdom reign for a little bit longer. There has been a buzz about this movie like I haven’t seen in awhile. It has been all over twitter (Michael Keaton tweeted about it, you guys) and I hear people talking about it in everyday life as well. It’s being hailed as the funniest comedies of the last few years. Now, I see more movies than most and NOBODY is more qualified to make this statement than moi. So I gave it some serious thought, and people are sort of right. I loved the movie but it doesn’t seem to be doing anything different beyond achieving genuine laughs. But that’s not bad at all. A little love for SEX DRIVE, though. Please.

PRIEST



Surprisingly almost decent for a rip off of JUDGE DREDD from the director of LEGION. Well, decent for about 30 minutes and then it’s a January Screen Gems movie for the rest of the time. How did anyone see this in 3D? It’s dark as shit already.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES



This movie will make you sit there and wish you were watching the confusing and disappointing third movie. There’s nothing left in the tank, and Depp can’t carry a movie he isn’t interested in or his character is interested in or has any sort of involvement in at all. They were so bereft of ideas, that Disney bought this novel from 198fucking7 called “On Stranger Tides” as the basis for the story. It’s not like this novel was anything special or even a hit. It is every stupid sci-fi novel you ever read in middle school, they just added Jack Sparrow. It’s almost fan fiction. This one’s dead. The franchise is dead. We’re done. It’s over. Nothing to see here. Mermaid tears.

THE HANGOVER PART II



This movie is currently getting the business from every genius filmgoer with the criticism “It’s exactly like the first movie”. But what I don’t get is, if you were retarded enough to like the first movie, then shouldn’t you be stupid enough not to care if this is the same thing? I am obviously not a fan of the first, and actually found this movie superior. Call it the “Ghostbusters II” effect. I really don’t see what the difference between the two movies are beyond this one being slightly funnier than the last one, which is to say, at all. Also, kudos for bringing back the 80’s subtitle “Part II”.

KUNG FU PANDA 2



The first movie was one of the best movies of 2008, which is saying something. This one isn’t as good, but is still pretty great considering what Dreamworks Animation is capable of, terrible wise. It’s very funny, action packed and has some very touching moments as well. I want a Panda now. They are hilarious and can protect me from bandits.

May was not too shabby, and June raises the stakes. We’ve got:

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS
SUPER 8
JUDY MOODY AND THE NOT SO BUMMER SUMMER
GREEN LANTERN
MR. POPPER’S PENGUINS
CARS 2
TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON

Emotions are running high with that list. There are some serious gambles in there and some franchises in need of redemption. Also, some awesome slurpee cup contenders. Summer is starting to sizzle!

- D